3 Guys Walk Into a Bar

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3 Guys Walk Into a Bar


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Jan 12, 2018
Happy New Year!  Here's a fun new, extra-long, extra-late holiday episode from your favorite monsters!  This is a real doozy, with a full pre-show and a holiday-ish themed main body.  We chat about holiday expectations, throw shade on each other and family, dip our toes into the current political/social climate, and literally talk turkey.  Of course, we also whip out our pervert ways to talk porn, creepin', and stayin' classy.  Last but not least, as we do every holiday season for the past 20 years, we perform our classic holiday recitation of some poorly written, poorly voiced, and mostly incoherent fanfic.
This episode was recorded between Thanksgiving and Christmas, so it doesn't
Just Aaron jawin' at ya'.
Actual Show: 
Jul 28, 2017

Hey perverts, thanks for joining us for another episode of 3 Guys Walk Into a Bar!  Enjoy this new episode, now with more girth!

  • Circle Jerk
  • Trying to pronounce Rich Ard’s name
  • About Dogs
  • And now we trigger Jackie for his full-episode-side-mission
  • And Manuel… Bad.
  • And also his entire situation is falling apart
  • It’s Dishwalla
  • Chief Keef looking’ dog - bergamasco is the breed -
  • Don’t let your dog watch you smirk it
  • Inflection matters
  • Listeners - what are your thoughts on dogs?
  • Non follow-up on The Path Stalker
  • And… time for this episode’s “heel-turn”
  • Start the show…
Show Intro Song: “Oh My” by Dave Birds
Main Show:
  • “Hey Aaron, try to pivot off of this shit”
  • Jackie wants to play Rocksmith
    • “I live alone, lightning!”
    • So… below me
    • Guitaru Man was great 
    • A short recap of Aaron’s best day of 2017 so far
    • Songs from Rocksmith
    • How does that song go?
    • Led Zeppelin’s Stolen Songs
  • Nintendo
    • Dat SNES Doh
    • A quick aside for a good-ol’ fashion sexist story from Manuel
      • What’s a “girl game”
      • Jackie does, of course, support all of this
      • Ain’t no nerd
      • Lite rape culture
    • PK Fire
    • And time for Aaron to be a real dick about video games
    • We all should have gotten PS4s, sorry Jackie.
    • Note from the editor - we DID Jackbox that night, and it was fuckin’ great.
  • Jackie on Cords
    • Well all like the sticks
    • Are you hulu?
    • House of Cards is too much
    • We are all missing out on “Baskets”
    • Baking and Ramsey
  • A really weird, brief aside
  • Should I play Galgun?
  • Aaron’s Controller Problems
    • SNES USB controller
    • Steam Controller
    • 8bitdo
    • Stardew is right up my valley - 
  • Pro-tip - listen all the way to the end (that’s where we stash the heroin)
Put a Pin In It:
  • Ooky Cookie?
  • How many guitars does Aaron have?
  • Follow-up on Jackie wanting to play Bass
  • Does Aaron have a Jaw Harp?
  • When was the last time you beat Contra?
  • Check-in on Jackie’s GoT Watch
  • Exploitative Thai Porn
  • Our creepy friends
Jul 21, 2017
Hail and well met, weary traveler!  Come hither and set a spell for a good ol’ tale of darkness and jizz.  Or whatever this dumb thing is.  Today’s episode - a pack of pre-shows.  This time it’s from the two most recent episodes recorded a short while ago.  The first pre-shows comes from last Friday’s episode, the second one comes from next Friday’s episode.  We’re throwing the pre-show for next Friday out before the episode itself, because it has some good setup that might enhance your enjoyment, or will at least limit the Momento / Pulp Fiction confusion.
Anyway, enjoy the show!
07-14-2017 Pre-show
  • Mic testing and vocal exercises
  • Is it a butt, a heart, or a “mushroom stamp”?  Does anyone still say “mushroom stamp”?
  • Propagate… not the same as “picked up by”, but whatever, close enough.
  • Literally the third person to look at my microphones and immediately start destroying them
  • Culture Club.  He’s a ‘boi’, right?
  • Should we compel Ricky & Manuel to be another show on our website?
  • I’m not googling that.
  • Headphone problems
  • CreepyMics
  • A racist old favorite to get us in the mood
  • It’s the only way you’re going to get a camel up my hill.  What?
  • More on Ginuwine
  • Bow Wow
  • Alexa bullshit
  • Lead-in on poppers, and more on the Nasty Boi
07-28-2017 Pre-show
  • Beer talk
  • Boxing chat
  • Big Baby Chavez?
  • Episode Set Chat
  • 3 Guys Gaiden
  • Not spooging that guy’s name
  • Existence and Midwest Wormholes, you know them as “Tornados”
  • There is a hard copy of Aaron’s short-lived wikipedia page
  • How horny is Aaron and for what?
  • We’re not calling it, somebody please register that and keep it from us so we can’t take it, I’m pleading
  • For the record, Aaron’s thing is being a dirtbag, not a creep-o (if you'll believe it)
Where to Find us:
Jul 14, 2017
Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of 3 Guys Walk Into a Bar!  This week, we welcome back a fan favorite to guest panel with us on a weird, pervy, dark series of barely strung together conversational tidbits.  We got Boiz, Gulrz, and some pretty strong evidence that if you are a woman and alone with the four of us you should probably run.  Yipes!  There's some cultural misremembering, some jokes so inside you had to be there, and you better believe we'll talk about porn.  Oh, and you know we got an update on the Pink Sticks.
Cold Open:
Show Open Song: CAD by ?
Body of the Show:
  • We finally answer the question of what it stands for
  • July is “Indoctrinate a Friend” Month - indoctrinate them, just a little
    • “The Return 2: This is Still The Preshow”
    • “Buttsex Hazards”
  • An update on the “Pink Sticks Saga”
  • Someone is finally on Jackie’s side
  • A pretty so-so superpower
  • I can’t even with the Toxic Avenger website -
    • Oh, also, everyone else was right.  Totally unrelated to Swamp Fellow.
  • Sticky candy
  • Gamer Gurls mentioned - get ready for some good ol’ fashioned sexism
  • You will never hear most of these guys ever give a gamer with a vagina their due
  • Very adamant it’s a woman
  • Black Porn vs. Asian Porn and “The Ratio”
  • Vice’s new show, “Hey, what’s Lem doing?” and other inside jokes
  • Popper return - straights are doing it wrong? -
  • a sudden and unexpectedly related dark side story
  • More things in porn that Aaron has stuff to say about
  • Female directors of hentai - NSFW, c’mon, do I really have to tell you this? -
  • The Boiz are pretty fucked up.
  • A variety of Asian thoughts - thanks, bye!
  • Not for me
  • Asking for a friend.
  • Who likes dem feetz?
  • Manuel asks the question on everyone’s mind - who’s the gross one?
  • Is Nikki Minaj’s body actually fake?
  • Khhhaaaaannnn!!! -
  • Taxonomy matters.
  • The secret of Aaron’s buttlove secrets - less frequent and more discerning than you might imagine
  • Accomplice
  • We all gotta pee so bad
Outtro - “Whiskey Bar” by Dave Birds - - THANKS DAVE!
  • some goofy afterbits
  • Manuel was fine, he wasn’t broken, it’s fine.
  • But still fuck yourselves.
Put a Pin In It:
  • Buy a Sextoy On Air
  • Read that fuckin’ fan fic
  • Teasing the return of Community Projects
  • Some real crazy unaired episodes that Aaron needs to just go ahead and put out there
Jul 7, 2017
From episode 078 Preshow:
  • What’s Aaron drinking?
From episode 079
  • welcome to the guys
  • and Aaron is immediately unhinged
  • what does CAD stand for?
  • There are some very bad, dark-humor inside jokes
  • I have some of those listener submissions, and still don’t know what to do with them?
  • Foodie Gangsigns
  • Keeping it 100?
  • Hep Alphabet
  • Peruvian Chicken
  • Jackie story about being black
  • What yo family is
  • Aaron wants to be clear - “Lactation Room” is what that’s called
  • Some crazy assed rant about not wanting things?
  • James of Thrones
  • Who’s a creep?
From episode 079 - afterbits
  • Aaron, Jackie, and the Effin’ C Plan to meet at a meat place
  • Oh, right, we were gunna make mixtapes for people… then we didn’t
  • What the fuck was happening with Aaron's voice?
Where to Find us:
Jun 30, 2017

It's a power-packed-preshow-pool!  Jump on in, the water is toxic!

Show Notes:

It all starts with lead-in that goes from basic to fun to dark and back to fun all in a few minutes.  And then:

06-16-2017 Preshow
  • Off-mic bullshit
  • Cat Physics
  • Brewing Jizz
06-23-2017 Preshow
Where to Find us:
Jun 23, 2017
Cold Open
  • Welcome to the… bar?
  • Beer. Not from a zip top bag.
  • Gribblies
  • Throwing out a lot of not great brewing theories and advice
  • Aging Beer?
  • Listen as we fail at “brushing past” something
  • Boardwalk Fries:
    • Aaron was wrong about the name - it is Thrashers
    • But Aaron was right about the brands - Thrashers is a brand from Ocean City NJ, Boardwalk is a style that shops in Ocean City MD tried to pass off as just a thing, there was a lawsuit, I got bored searching for the outcome and honestly don’t fucking care.  Don’t @ me.
  • Bars
  • I don’t think it’s pronounced like that…
  • Foodie Day vs. Man Day
  • Jackie’s dedication to food
  • Pacific Rim
Intro Song! - “Emotion2” by Dave Birds
Outro - “Whiskey Bar” - by Dave Byrds
Put a Pin in It:
  • Boy, I hope I didn’t just mix Mal up with another listener, that would be real shitty
  • OBC Updates
  • Getting Worse?
  • Aaron’s dark, dirty, unnerving Jodys (military cadence songs)
Jun 16, 2017
Cold Open:
  • A Time for Celebration - In Aaron we Trust
  • Ricky found twitter?
    • The questions and responses on this inherently usable system… man
    • Don’t fuckin’ @ me
    • But maybe @Ginuwine
  • Ginuwine Updates
  • Jackie’s Horny to Hype 3 Guys
  • PUBg
Intro: "Oh My" by: d4ve b1rds -
  • Pump up the Aaron, Pump up the Jam
  • There’s gunna be porn of that
  • Porn Research
  • National Aaron Day
  • Vidya Gaimes
    • E3 Timeframe
    • Grab a Switch *SNAP!*
    • ECKBOK vs. StayPlaytion
    • And then we talk about some games
    • Gamist slurs?
    • Don’t fuckin’ @ me about 
    • Undertale
    • How do you feel about VR?
      • Alexa wants to chime in
      • And a brief interlude for more porn
      • We definitely answered that question.  Yep.  Moving right along.
    • Games we’re interested in
    • It’s “you be” (but also, it doesn’t matter)
    • Mario gets a fuckin’ guuuuuun.
    • New Donk city
    • Were you ever horny for Sonic?
    • The future of E3 & the Great Unwashed
    • The PC developers won
    • And we’re a bit overdue for a classic Jackie & Aaron spat, so here we go
      • Which resolves considerably more calmly and agreeably than ever.  Maturity?
      • Also - why did Jackie make that sound when Brazil was mentioned?
    • Such an angry dog (such nice neighbors)
    • Pirates?; No, Pirates!
    • Would you go to E3?
  • Go the fuck home.
Put a Pin In It:
  • Jackie dreams of killing children?
  • Advanced Porn Search Strats
Where to Find us:
Jun 9, 2017

Hey folks, Aaron here.  Sorry for the inexplicable absence last week and late posting this week - we've been busy with our real lives.  Today's episode is also going to be a bit short, inspite of an overlong intro which I should have trimmed down but didn't because... c'mon man, it's fine.  Right?  Right.

So what is today's show?  It's a long intro explaining why we missed that week and what you can expect out of us in the near future.  We're still scheduling our next sessions, which we are all excited to do because boy, stuff has been a happenin'.

After that, it's the preshow from the last episode that published.  It's pretty damn funny and takes a weird twist near the end.  Enjoy it!

  • Where we be?
  • What this be?
  • Was that a bad?
  • @ Us.  Or don't?
  • Preshow!
Preshow from 05/26/2017
  • Pre-show (start through)
    • Talk about the robot news
    • Episode setup, being dirty
    • Some help from the mysterious guest
    • Is it cum in a bottle?
    • A “Mother” is a thing for vinegar.  A “Scooby” is that kambucha thang.
    • It’s ayight, I mean some people like it, it’s ayight.  S’posed to be really good for you.
    • Toxicity
    • 5:10ish - splooge where Ricky works
    • Aaron doesn’t want to follow-up on Pony (click this link)
    • but will talk about Pony, from Ginuwine
    • is Aaron eating Pistachios and/or Bananas wrong?
    • People are hungry
    • This is going to be a “Nasty Boi” episode.
    • Oh, yes, new song!
    • Golden Preshow.
May 26, 2017

Hey everyone, thanks for coming to the bar!  Too much?  Yeah, I'll think about it.  On today's episode, we get back to our areas of expertise - being perverts.  We talk time management, edging, POV, gaping, nuru, jackhammers, and remember those pink sticks.  We also have a mysterious guest whom might be chainsmoking an unreasonable amount of weed that made my entire condo smell like a Dutch cafe for an entire weekend.  Oh!  And there's a new song from the house DJ!

Talkin' Points!:

  • Cold Open
    • We’ll talk about Ernest
    • Time management
    • Jackie is efficient, if nothing else.
    • “and a side of tots…”
  • Intro: “Oh My” by Dave Burds (chicka chicka)
  • Recap
  • POV & Edging Porn, that’s Jackie’s Jam
    • POV (Point of View) - the camera is from the perspective of the dude doing the dang.
    • Jackie is anti “The Dennis”
    • How does the Pornsos make their decisions?
    • Gaping / Goatsee
    • Mysterious guest mentions her exes’ preferences.
    • Edging - Get right up to it, but don’t.
    • You will never get back to that search.
    • It’s not a nuru massage?
    • ‘Cause it sounds like a nuru massage.
    • Rifling through your panties
    • Wait… what was Jackie’s new thing?
    • It’s funny because our guest is that thing that Jackie said
    • You don’t know until you know.
    • NO RODS!
    • What are these pink sticks?
    • The guest unintentionally introduces a fantastic premise
    • Who wouldn’t?
    • A weird side-note on Tomb Raider 39:20ish
    • And then a weird pokemon aside
      • editor’s note, I just saw a Weezing weed pipe, and I approve
      • I just saw a Weezing dildo, and I am note happy about it
  • Proof of humanhood
  • Talkin’ Nicki on Insta
  • Buttsex Hazards
    • This is not what happened on the path
    • It is still terrible
    • Listen guys, you gotta be cool
    • Classic Jackie
    • Quick aside for terminology “Netflix & Chill”
      • Quick, much further aside for The Guyver
        • Quick, even more much further aside for “Gaper”
          • Being accused of being a “Gaper”, not a great time
      • Some tips from the guest on video selection
      • The cross-talk gets bad for a bit, sorry about that…
    • Things are fine, things are good
    • Does anyone else have here share this story?
    • Who’s in the bad in this story?
  • We turn down  a side street for a little while to throw some shade on Priests for no good reason
  • And also Cosby - it’s happening
  • And… just go ahead and click on this
  • We’ve all come around on this heroic ghoster
  • Quick version of the IHOP story
    • Who says “Smash”?
    • A few parts of this story are a little out of order
    • Did the guest really gasp when I revealed I didn’t go to the IHOP? 
Put a Pin In It:
  • What was the porn thing Jackie accidentally something?
  • Google data on porn searches
  • Speed Bate, Regret Bate, etc.
  • Definition of “Fuck Boy”
  • What are the worst foods to have before a buttsex adventure?
May 19, 2017

Hey folks, come on in for a new episode of 3 Guys Walk Into a Bar, the water is fine?  I don’t know, whatever floats your [joke from one of things in the episode].  We have a multipack of pre shows and previously unreleased stuffs, which show that some of the best things we do happen before the episode starts.  There are some weird audio things here and there, but c’mon, you know you’re gunna get over it.

Preshow from 4/27
  • Too many cops?
  • Is it spelled “doche”?
Preshow from 5/5
  • The Blow James
  • Livin’ it Up
  • Some behind the curtain things on how we pick what to do
Preshow from 5/12
  • Aaron stretches his legs while they reveal their dark secrets (queue rippin’ guitar solo)
  • Unlocking the Twitter
  • Jackie reveals some porn preferences
  • Ricky wants for VR porn
  • Icelandic Vodka, and more local bullshit than anyone needs to hear.
  • Which is the better Dave Birds song?
  • Dickabunch
Put a Pin In It:
  • We need to talk about Jackie’s POV/Edging Jam
  • What would good VR porn even be?
Where to Find us:


May 12, 2017
Hey everyone, Aaron here.  Today’s episode is a jaunt through technological wonders with our three gents.  It’s a little more visual than usual, so do yourself a favor and follow along with the show notes - they gots links ins em’s!  Fun articles and videos about technology, right?
Show Notes:
Put a Pin in it:
  • 24 hour cleanerbots - what other bots would you vent?
  • Driverless cars
  • Conspiracy Theories
  • Number Stations
  • Nations
Find us:
May 5, 2017
Show Notes:
  • Cold Open turns into "Alt-funk 3 Guys" Intro
  • “Aaron’s Not Happy with This”
    • This is not a tribute
    • Labels, man
    • Midgy’s?
    • Dark Elves? Drow? Dunmer?
    • Wink?
    • Just a smidge, please
    • Wear the costume, and put some work into it
    • You know those… sticks?  Those pink sticks?
    • Landscape, you monsters.
  • Intro: “Whiskey Bar” by Dave Byrds (
    • Chunky, Nasty, and Grumpy
    • Quick recap of our tenure
  • What’s on our porn hate/love list?
  • And Aaron does an awful thing with Craigslist and bad voices
  • Taiwanese Hand Angels.  No. Fucking. Way. 
  • Discussing an important, future investigative report
  • More examples of “victimless”
  • A revisit of the creepy guy from the path
  • Outro: that same song.   We’ll mix it up a bit more in the future.
Put a Pin In It:
  • When are we going to have that “Sour Beer” fight?
  • We reeeeeally gotta get back to the Nasty Boi’s whole… deal
  • Please explain these pink sticks to us.
  • Is Ricky a “sexual grown man”? What do you suppose he means by that?
Apr 28, 2017
Hey everyone, welcome to another great Friday with another great episode of 3 Guys!  Come on in, the water is wet!
Today’s episode is a super-special-secret-surprise show in which I spring several severe surprises on my cohosts.  Special.  It’s also a little long, but we felt you’d prefer this episode all in one go.
  1. Cold Open:
    1. 420 - it’s a thing
    2. A tease of what is to come - not jizzed on
    3. Community Projects - on hold
    4. Watching Heat - cancelled
    5. Starting a Website - really hard
    6. Talking about an episode we haven’t posted - pretty chill
    7. Yes, Aaron has a blog.
    8. A quick break for some very honest truth about sex and fat
    9. Our email - not great, but you can try it or contact us some other way:
      1. (I think?)
      2. Aaron’s email -
      3. Twitters -
      4. Comments section of is also viable
    10. Tell your friends... also your family?
    11. Is it "Dave Birds" or "Dave Byrds"? - Yes.
  2. Super-secret-surprise Intro: “Whiskey Bar” by DvBrds - central
  3. Secret quick 420 check-in
  4. It’s our Super Secret All Surprises Show!
  5. Evil Jelly Bean Challenge, Round One!
  6. His name is Palmer Luckey
  7. A Baby Hippo
  8. Are you a weedzo?
  9. Where would you get your weedzies?
  10. Nightmare Beans Round 2!
  11. Throwaway comment
  12. Gay sex or… Warheads?
  13. Tupac again
  14. Toxic Waste
  15. King of Fruits!
  16. Beer Machine!
  17. Bikepath Creep Update
  18. Nightmare Beans Round 3!
  19. Miracle Berry Dalliance!
  20. What actually did happen in India?
  21. Haw Flakes? 
  22. Turmeric?
  23. Now listen to us stuff our faces with berries and citrus.
  24. Here’s that article I basically didn’t read 
  25. Nightmare Beans Round 4?
  26. No.  No we will not have a fourth round.
  27. Community Project: Record yourselves with either these dumb jelly beans, these dumb miracle berries, or both!
  28. Outtro: “Whiskey Bar” again, because why wouldn't we?
Apr 21, 2017

Hey everyone, we've got some hot new episodes cookin' up for you, but our recording schedule got a little bunched.  So this week is a special episode, something promised years ago that we never actually got to.  It's an episode of the preshows, afterthings, etc. from past recording sessions.  Next Friday's episode will be brand new one, a super-special-surprise show that we recorded on April 20th.  

Apr 14, 2017

Hey everyone, welcome back for the second part of this weird, long episode!  We close this one out with lots of talk of food, hangin', and "Man Day".  Yuck.  Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Talking Points:

  1. Pre-intro
  2. What are the food places we are most horny for?  Bonus points - how many of the things we say are problematic?  My count is about a dozen.
    1. Poke 
    2. Doner Kebab
    3. I’m here to kick ass and chew Ethiopian food 
    4. Moraccan Tagine 
    5. Omekase
    6. Aged Steak
    7. BBQ from various regions
    8. Where do you find the weirdest people with the fewest teeth?
    9. Tandoor 
    10. Harissa
    11. Get some caipirinhas and far too much meat
    1. “Man Day”
      1. Big ol’ guns
      2. Recurve  vs. Compound 
      3. Crushin’ cars
      4. Backhoe?
      5. Escape room
      6. Sleep No More
    2. Hamilton
  3. The Guys are angling for a strippy night

Put a pin in it!:

  • Tron
  • Microbrews and Fermentations
  • Strippy options to make dems hoes sit on us
Apr 7, 2017

Hey everyone, thanks for visiting us for a brand new episode of 3 Guys Walk Into a Bar!  This week's episode is the first half of a two-parter.  In this week's half, it's music, comics, and a tail of rust city adventure!  Here we go!

  1. Pre-intro
    1. The Summer of Concerts!
      1. System of a Live King
      2. Tuxedo Oats in the Desert
      3. Bands to check out or be Out of Touch
      4. The birth of “Mukbang Jackson”
      5. Assmar! or... assmar
      6. Oh, I almost forgot the Mukbang… 
      7. And then… um… Babymetal 
      8. Weezy Hipster Cake
      9. Black Eye’d History X
      1. Gateway
      2. William
      3. You know… reavers 
      4. Spoilereens!
      5. Summerses
    2. Poorly remembering X-Men
  2. Everlasting Preshow
    1. Ghost Michael
  3. Super Late Intro: Emotion 1 by Dave Birds - go get his music!
    1. Got Wet and Sugary
    2. Also Mi & Yu?
    3. A brief description of our local drinking area
    4. Skipping through Baltimore for ramen
    5. Bangbang!
  4. One Night on FedHill and the Ba... Co... crumbles!
  5. We don’t have any of that ramen in this town but…
  6. We do got Dat Than!
  7. Come back next week and get horny with us!
Mar 31, 2017

Hey everyone, it’s your friendly former hunky boi Aaron here with another episode of your new favorite old show.  This time, we talk about a Rock and Roll legend, jaw about speakin’, and explain the weird thing that I’ve been doing in this latest batch of episodes.  Here we go…


Show Notes:

  1. Cold Open on a Rock Legend
  2. Intro: "Emotion 2” by Dave Birds
  3. Secret quick check-in
    1. How do you feel about this jazz?
    2. Can you type real good?
    3. Amazon X-Ray and other magics
    4. Prescriptive Dick
    5. How do you like Aaron’s Philly accent?
    6. Time for some pizza opinions!
  4. Topic One: On Dictionaries and Words
    1. No official due dates just yet, but soon
    2. Keep working on it, it’s very important that we find out how things went for 90’s Era Cable 
    3. Watch Heat
    4. Get A Sex Toy (that’s new to you)
  5. Topic Two: Community Projects
  6. This Week’s Community Project: Submit a community project to 3 Guys.
  7. Outtro: “Whiskey Bar” by The Doors

Put a pin in it!:

  • Should we have us a pizza battle?
  • Can we go a show without three men talking about rape?
Mar 24, 2017
Hey everyone, thanks for checking out another episode!  We hope you’ve been enjoying the show lately.  Make sure you catch this one, it’s a doozy!  
Bonus: The Effin’ C gets one of the best lines of the show, drink when you hear it - “What are you, Mario?”
Talking Points:
  1. Cold Open - Wheelchair Bop & Ricky the Nasty Boi
  2. Intro: Emotion1 by a.k.a. Dave Byrds (thanks Dave!)
  3. Topic One: Aaron’s surprise topic
    1. Have you ever gotten a thing… it’s not a penis pump!
    2. It has never been near my penis or anus… trust me.
    3. We’re pretty sure it’s not for your butt.
    4. Side thang on comedy
  4. Topic Two: The Nasty Boize
    1. But first - The Effin’ C catches some nasty shrapnel
    2. And side thang for Jackie’s JOI
    3. Ricky gets the gold star for sharing
    4. When 3 Guys makes a stance, we put our foot down… so to speak
    5. Jackie’s Tumbling
    6. The Dennis
    7. Side notes on a “strain of thought"
    8. And finally, questioning the Nasty Boi
    9. Turns out… Aaron is also a Nasty Boi
    10. Do you piss in the shower?
    11. A side thang about… shitty youtube personalities?  I’m not sure.
    12. Ricky’s Immodest Proposal
    13. and we put a pin in…
      1. he had a conversation with a friend about a hooker
      2. Ricky the pervus on periscope
      3. info on buttstuff
      4. We revisit something from the lost episode - Ricky’s a nasty boi
  5. Never got to: Video Games, specifically new Nintendo and Zelda.
  6. Community Project:  Get a (new) sex toy
  7. Outtro: “Whiskey Bar” by The Doors
Mar 17, 2017

Hey folks, here’s another show from the night where our audio wasn’t great.  Hang with us though, because this one’s fun.  We talk pot, teen bodies, and how to fall in love with robots.  Enjoy the show!


Talking Points:

  • play a song (something by DB, not sure what)
  • I'd link to Dave's music if I could remember where it is! Maybe someone will mention it in the comments
  • Did Ricky quit weed this week?
  • Let’s play us a game about weed!  Play along at home!
  • Should we force Ricky to do a podcast of his own about weed and pharmaceuticals?
  • How did you do and what was your favorite?
  • Bonus points - send YOUR fake weed strain to Jackie for the next time we play.
  • Let’s talk Westworld
  • Did you see that shit coming?
  • How do you fake swords?
  • Where Logan at?
  • Is you a host?
  • Have you played Red Dead Redemption?
  • Side thing about Lost


Put a pin in it:

  • What is “lite rape”?
Mar 10, 2017

Today’s show is a fun one!  We try out starting with a “cold open” and welcome a special guest to the studio.  Regular listeners of the show in the past will recognize her, and anyone else can just get used to her, ‘cause she’s pro’lly coming back.  There’s popcorn in our lungs and pervy-ness in our hearts!  Get dat ass!

Talking Points:

  1. Cold Open: Aaron Needs to Know
    1. Welcome back to “The Effin’ C”
    2. Criteria for twitter friend request approval
  2. Intro: Emotion2 by a.k.a. Dave Byrds (thanks Dave!)
    1. Get your vape on?
    2. Popcorn Lung -
  3. Topic One: The Guest’s surprise subject
    1. Hunky Boy
    2. Ass?
    3. My lil’ outfit!
    4. The Secret to Aaron’s Hair
    5. The C adds her two cents
    6. The crew take a VERY dark turn
    7. And then a weirdly sweet note?
  4. Topic Two: Aaron - Notably Fat
  5. Outtro: “Whiskey Bar” by The Doors

We Put a Pin in These for Later:

  • Aaron’s Jogging Encounters
  • Buttsex Hazards
  • We need a weight chart, from “Hunky Boy” to whatever we decided was the fat one
Feb 25, 2017

Welcome to a new episode of 3 Guys!  I’m sorry the audio is bad!  We had a very brief but pretty rough system crash at about the 45 minute mark of recording one of the best episodes we’ve done in years which not only totally borked that episode, it also reset our recording devices for everything we recorded after.  Pfffffftttttt… that’s the sound of me making fart noises from my mouth in exasperation.  So the audio is all a little bit dicked and we have lost an entire episode.  That’s a bummer, but come’on - stick with us.  

For what it’s worth, even after being pretty fuckin’ salty about the overall situation, this dumb show got some legitimate laughs out of me while I was half paying attention in the edit.  Anyway, the audio isn’t that terrible if you compare it to either most shows that have no budget or us in like, I don’t know, 2006.   For those of you that like the “how the sausage is made” stuff, this is the episode for you.  We really get into our thoughts on bringing back the show.  Also, some needless shade throwing.

  1. Talkin’ Shop and Shoppin’ Talk
    1. Cold open talkin’ about what we want to do with the show
    2. Intro & mention of lost episode
    3. Where the soundboard at?
    4. There is audio missing from the middle… just google “pineapple pen” or click this link -
    5. I think this is that creepy pizza -
    6. Livingrooms, bedrooms, dinettes -
    7. Also, apologies for my “black voice”, which it seems I did do.
    8. You know what?  Just click every youtube video you remember from the early 2000’s.
    9. Workin’s we wanna do… like, the fuck do you want to do with this show?
    10. How much time do YOU spend vidya gaeming?
    11. As always, we have a brief side moment to be total pervs, and Jackie shares something about himself that everyone else already knew
    12. We say “cucks” a bunch, I guess.
      1. 90’s Cable vs. Battlestar Galactica… fucking.
      2. OR Watch Heat.
      3. But really, do both.
      4. ALSO - tell us what you want to make the assignment next time
    13. You now have a homework assignment
    14. That’s the show!
Feb 11, 2017

This is another episode that is just straight-up all over the place.  It starts quiet because we never actually officially start, so don't adjust your volume too high.  We never really finish a thought… but whatever.  It’s more catching up, more weird tangents, and more fun.  If any of this is something you want us to elaborate on, just give us a shout!

Also: Time for a new game, I’m calling it Phrase of the Episode!  This week, “Sea salt dicks.” Drink when you hear it!

  1. VERY soft opening:
    1. "Young Girl” a cappella
    2. Taco Tuesdays
  2. Dry Aging
  3. Smoking up
  4. A quick break for casual racism
  5. Lessons from Dr. Greenthumb
  6. Save Betty White from 2016
  7. Wrestling Talk
  8. Should we make a “World’s Biggest Monster” pin? Statue?
  9. And, as always, we talk about dicks
  10. Creep Maturation
  11. Geography lessons?
  12. Back to racism, but this time - other people’s!
  13. Lobster rolls, more pot, vaping?
  14. Aaron fesses up to why he’s been quiet for a few minutes
  15. Is it fucked up to call a woman “handsome”?
  16. Side-bar on single-serving websites, like
  17. Ricky does a creepy
  18. Wrapping up the episode that never opened
  19. Brief stop to explain Ricky’s twitter
Feb 1, 2017

This episode goes all over the place.  We’re partly reintroducing ourselves to the audience and partly just catching up with each other, which was largely the original premise of the show.  Try to hang with us, I think it’s pretty darn entertaining.

  1. Welcome back young girl (choose your own punctuation for that sentence).
  2. Who is we, where we been, an unopened condom
  3. Accidental Racist and some half-tirade from Jackie
  4. How Aaron got a Mac, I guess
  5. Ricky’s Fun Puns and “Words on Cards” games
  6. Let’s paint a word picture of a nice night out and a good ol’ fashion Black Power rant
  7. A secret tattoo makes an appearance
  8. And as always, we take a turn for the perv
  9. Time for the quarterly “remember this guy we used to know?” check in

Keep your eye on the twitter for updates, and thanks for listening!